Thursday, February 17, 2011

Coming Soon

Coming later this week: A more concise review of Star Trek (2009), unlike my last one which was split into four parts: Overview, The Characters, The Plot, Themes and Motifs, The Tone, and Bitches. I'm also going to review Red Letter Media's review of Star Trek (2009).

Be wary, this part is almost a half-hour long.

Also, I'm working on a huge project that will be coming towards the end of March or mid-April called: Why Everyone was Disappointed in Spiderman 3. I know it's an easy target, but it's something that I feel must be done, especially with the reboot coming out next year. There's also a lot that hasn't been said, and it's not even five full years ago that it came out. Anyway, I already have about ten pages of material, but I'm still working on some more, and there's still more that needs to be said. Once done, however, I'm not just going to post up in sections what was wrong. I'm attempting to put it into a lengthy video review much like Red Letter Media's Plinkett-style reviews. Though I'm not interested in creating a character or doing any actual filming, I am attempting to accomplish the depth, insight, critical thinking, and thoroughness that those reviews have. To do a long blog entry wouldn't be very satisfying, so I'm going to try and edit the footage of the films to really show my point. So it's a new thing for me and we'll see how it goes. Below I'll give you a taste of some of the points I'll be covering.

Here I discuss all the mistakes with Harry Osborn in the third film, and there are a lot more than you may already have in mind.

I think this is pretty obvious, but I go into some detail and accomplish painting a more accurate picture of the first two films but why they were better than the third.

So you know how I was saying this third film was just the last two all over again? Well, actually, it’s worse. You know why? Remember how Peter had to deal with vengeance right after his uncle died, and how through the second one he had to face the fact that he shirked responsibility when he could have easily stopped him, and then it came back to bite him in the ass? Then in the second one he had to own up to it to Aunt May. He dealt with some painful moments because of the complicated death of his uncle, but both films, though had Uncle Ben and Ghosty, they were building from one to the next, progressing the plot line and forcing the characters to grow. In this final installment we’re just rehashing and opening old wounds! WHAT KIND OF ASSHOLE JUST REOPENS OLD WOUNDS?! Oh…wait…I’m sorry…BUT THIS IS IMPORTANT! We dealt with Uncle Ben, we dealt with his killer, even if it was simple, even a little cheap, it had its time. And now, even though there’s no mention of this in the second movie, we’re going back and rewriting the first one. Isn’t enough that you’re fucking ruining the end of the trilogy? Do you really have to sully the good name of the first one? What are you, the fucking Saw sequels? STOP REWRITING THE OLD ONES YOU FUCKING UNORIGINAL ASSHOLES!

Below I'll give you the trailer, to remind you what Sony wanted you to think the movie was about, vs. what the movie really was. (Note: Just look at how little Sandman is in this trailer and how much is covered with Venom, Harry, and Brock, yet note that the film is centered more on the prior and the latter are all peripheral.)

And that's all I'll give you for now. I'll leave you the second clip of Red Letter Media's Plinkett Review of Star Trek (2009). As you can tell with the first part, it's long, so only watch if you've got another half hour to spend.


Aaron said...

So did you have a Number One or was it just your general assertion that the film was terrible?

Also, I think you meant "Enough" with the Uncle Ben plot line, not "Even." You might need an editor.

Are you really going to attempt a video review? That's pretty exciting. My one word of advice: conciseness. Without a character to act as a lens (e.g. Plinkett), the content will need to be sharp and to the point. It's a great idea. Good luck with the project.

Donald said...

I was only posting snippets of the material. I left out number one because that's something I want to save for when I've finished the review. And no, I did mean "Even," as it follows a particular commentary about Mary Jane, and how the film didn't move on, "Even" with the Uncle Ben Plot Line. So I'm just fine without an editor, but nice try.